Setting foot ON a B-School

Phew!!!
Dunno how it went by.. but it did, and I'm glad it did and I am really looking forward to the rest of the 2 years to buzz away in similar fashion.

I'm not sure how to begin. I remember the moment of unadulterated joy when I saw my name on the final list. Somehow the first month has really not lived up to that moment. No! A B-School is not awe-inspiring, it's just a college.

Of course, there have been several problems, the least of them the infrastructure issues at the hostel, which definitely are not 'world class'. Single rooms converted into doubles, doubles converted to triples, with as many 6 people sharing a bathroom. C'mon!!! 6 grown-ups sharing a single bathroom. That's certainly 'world class'.

Now, the curriculum. Pretty agressive, that I have to admit. Lotsa assignments, quizzes, tests all at the same time. Teachers you ask? This is a college after all. And the mix is pretty hetero here. Some are absolutely brilliant (these are the people who actually care whether you take something away from their class), and the rest are a bunch of jokers. There is actually a prof who thinks Vivek Paul did nothing for Wipro and ICICI acquired Daewoo. HA HA!!! What a buffoon!!!

Then comes the B-School junta themselves. I think it's pretty safe to say (and I've been saying this all along) that the selection procedure is utter nonsense. True, there are some people who are actually good. But the majority are a bunch of juveniles who happen to crack some stupid math problems. The maturity levels are abysmally low, and most people are just over-eager imbeciles who actually think joining the 'mess committee' is actually gonna give them leadership positions. C'mon!!! Who are you kidding? HA HA!!! People are actually boasting about their various club associations in their CV. Can you imagine that?!! Dude, you just paid 400 bucks to get in the club. It really does not qualify as an achievement. If it's anybody's achievement, it's your old man's, who is actually earning those 400 bucks.

So watch out you people!!! Soon you are going to work under such managers.

For all those people appearing for CAT, XAT, MAT, FAT, RAT and all the other exams that test nothing but your dumb luck, please DON'T. Go out and enjoy. See the world. Cause 2 years in a B-School just aint worth it. CHEERS!!!

Of parents who never grew up

2 minutes into the house (where I haven been for the last one n a half years) and the scolding starts. "Do this, do that!!!" OR Rather "Don't do this, don't do that!!!" Must be some kind of a record now. I remember last time it was a little more than 24 hours. But 2 mins. MAN!!! I'll give it to these guys. They sure no how to make their son feel wanted in the house.

And the grand finale was today evening. I am not going to go into the exact details of the event, but I can safely say that the roof was blown off today. In the end it was almost comical really, at least to me. But I have learnt a lot from today's exchange and I would like to share it with anyone with the same situation. So here are the rules of engagement:

1. Never NEVER get angry or react in an aggressive manner. That's exactly what the enemy wants.
2. Stay calm. Try and use both your ears. In from one and out from the other. Believe me, if you wanna piss them off, this is the best way. Nothing irritates them more than indifference.
3. Crack a joke or two. Trivialize the issue. That will really blow the top off, and it will explore your creativity too. Do not try and get into a serious conversation.
4. Switch on the TV and start watching the MTV (ideally Splits Villa).
5. YAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. Move around the room. Grab something to eat from the fridge or something. Don't leave the room. Just fool around inside.
7. Never make eye contact. Keep watching TV. Just make a few snide comments from time to time.
8. Lastly, when they stop, just say "Are you done?" and leave the battlefield, VICTORIOUS!!!

IPL Diary: Knight Riders OR the Nighty Riders

Boy has the Fake IPL player laid into these guys, and deservedly so. What an absolute bunch of jokers!!! Now, I am Bengali, hence by default I am Rider fan. But even the most hardcore fan would have admitted at the start of the IPL that this team is not particularly strong. C’mon, you can’t seriously expect the likes of Akash Chopra, Sanjay Bangar and Laxmi Ratan Shukla to perform in South African pitches. But boy oh boy have they exceeded all our worst nightmares.

1 match in 7!!! Even a local club in Kolkata would have won more than that. Mr. Captain looks like he shitting in pants every time he goes out to bat. And Gayle seems as if he simply does not care. And I am sorry to say that our dear Dada should really hang up his boots now. Then there is the future of fast bowling in Indian cricket – Ishant Sharma – he seems keener to bowl maiden overs outside the cricket field than inside. And the rest are a bunch of jokers enjoying a free holiday in South Africa. What a bunch o LOSERS!!!!

And the blame starts right at the top, with the King Khan himself. Dude, this is sport, not a movie, wherein you can have a million retakes before you get your insane over-acting right. Now I used to think of SRK as a smart and sensible character. But I am happy to say he is proved me absolutely wrong. He is nothing but a bungling idiot, who is so hopelessly in love with himself that he seems to think that the forces of nature (and in this case IPL) will abide by his rules alone and hand him the IPL trophy because: “Hey, mein hoon Raj, naam to sunha hoga”. What a buffoon!!!! What a DILDO!!!

Controversies and more controversies!!! First, Kolkata is dropped from the name. For what possible ends, I fail to see. Next, the “innovative” 4-captain theory, which turned out to be a devious scheme hatched by Buchanan and co. to take Dada out of the captaincy, and eventually the team for sure. Mr. Buchanan, you are a damn cricket coach, not Peter Drucker. You could not even play the game yourself. So just stop pretending to be God with your little laptop. I am sure you’re just playing Minesweeper anyway.

I could go on and on about the gargantuan fuck-ups that SRK and his gang of pussies have done. But please, this team should just spare us the agony of watching them lose anymore and catch the first flight home.

IPL Diary: Go Fab Four!!!!

Firstly, great to see the IPL finally up and underway. Would have loved to see it happen in India. But South Africa it is, and kudos to all who organized this in just 3 weeks times. Slap on the face of Chidambaram and the Congress, that's for sure!!!

Now, I am not a huge fan of T-20 cricket. I find Test Cricket way more riveting, but T-20 is good entertainment. It's the only form that can bring cricket anywhere close to the popularity of football.

In the end, it is a game of cricket. And only the best cricketers will be able to excel in it. So all this talk about specialized T-20 cricketers and Test cricketers not being able to play T-20 is all manure. If you are a good enough cricketer, you should be able to play any form of cricket. So this summer, I will be rooting for the Fab Four of Indian cricket: Sachin, Saurav, Dravid and Laxman. Go on guys, show the boys how the men play.

Seriously, there is no reason why these four gentlemen cannot set IPL 2 on fire. If you recall, last season Dravid and Laxman were the most consistent performers for the their respective teams. Sachin was out with an injury for a long time, but both he and Ganguly showed sparks why they were one of the most feared batsmen in world cricket at one point of time, Ganguly being at his flamboyant best during his 90-odd against the Deccan Chargers.

And these men are at it again in the second edition of the extravaganza. Sachin and Dravid have already anchored their respective teams to victory on the opening day. True, KKR and Ganguly had a dreadful outing on Sunday, but he is sure to fight back, in a way only he can. The Very Very Special Man was run out. But it won't be long before those exquisuite cover drives and wristy flicks begin to flow. Remember, South African pitches are not as flat as the Indian ones. So only good batsmen would do well. Slap-bang batsmen like Asnodkar will fail miserably here.

So here a toast to the best Indian Cricket has ever produced. May their light never fade away. Here's to the FAB FOUR!!! CHEERS!!!!

We didn't start the Flame War!!!!

This is hilarious. Check this out...

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Bong Boyz rocking Harvard

Found this guy after really really long time (the one in the middle), surprisingly on You Tube. Good to see he's still at it.

All About CAT: The Journey... Is it worth it??

Different people live for different reasons. Fame, fortune - whatever it may be.

Within the concrete jungles of India, there live a unique set of people, who, every year in the Jan-Feb time frame, start living for 3 things - Verbal, Quant and DI. Now for the uninitiated, and you do have to be from a galaxy far far away to be so, these are the 3 pillars on of the dreaded Common Aptitude Test aka CAT!!!! The dreaded billi which has consumed many a sane mind. Young, and not so young, graduates go absolutely crazy to bell this billi to be Mediocre But Arrogant.

I dunno what was the figure this year, and I don't care, but it it was close to a zillion, and every year it is a zillion more. A zillion people fighting for a seat in a few "prestigious" (and I mean the quotes) B-Schools in India. Only a fraction, and I mean a paltry 0.1%, actually get to live their dreams, and the rest are left to bite the dust, feeling that life is just not worth living anymore.

But as the poet says,

"I get knocked down..
But i get up again..
You're never gonna keep me down!!!"

Same is the case with these folks. Another year, another CAT, and another, and another.............. Man! Even the Enterprise wasn't out for this long.

So what happens to these poor, lost souls? How do they get out of this vicious circle of examinations? Well most never do, not completely anyway. They keep pounding away, adding and subtracting (no time to multiply!!!), correcting sentences, reading page after page after page of dreary monologues about gene theory and the masturbation cycle of birds, and filling missing numbers into tables mysteriously burnt by fire. And the whole wondering what possible use this will be in their future.

The elders say "Don't worry about the result... Just keep working hard. Results will follow." Well, obviously these elders never made it themselves. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!! The result does matter. Year after year people are giving up their lives to cram a few math and english problems. Imagine all the movies you could have watched if you did not have to write all the SIM CATs and AIM CATs and MOCK CATs on Sunday afternoons. Imagine all the partying you could have done on Saturday nights had you not been mugging up formulae for the Sunday exams.

C'mon people!!! Live life the way it should be lived. You ain't gonna be in your 20-s forever. So please... go out, have some fun, read a good book, watch a good play. Do something with your life rather wasting it in the pursuit of your seemed happyness. Because believe you me, the effort is never going to be worth the time you lost.

Charge up...

There are a very few songs which make you energized even in the most difficult of times (e.g. Monday mornings). Although I am not a big fan of Bhagwaan - I refuse to believe in invisible men and women in the sky - this one totally wakes me up!!!