Sex, Drugs, Rock n' Roll, and MANIPAL!!!!

Manipal - "A small town in Karnataka, India. Has a university where rich parents send their spoilt kids to, so that they can booze, smoke weed and get laid, and maybe get a degree in the process."

That's urban dictionary's definition for you. And I can unashamedly say that we did all that... and more. Save the rich parents part. And believe me, my parents didn't spoil me, Manipal did. Now this isn't the ideal place to get an "education", but as Floyd would agree, "educated" we all did get.

Strange, that I'm writing this almost 4 years after I graduated from that place. But it's raining here in Bombay (Mumbai whatever!!!), and the rains always remind me of Manipal. The place I stopped being a bespectacled geek and a complete loser and GREW UP!!! I can't even begin to define Manipal. I'd rather like to think of it as a spirit rather than a physical place. It's more of a phenomenon - something that teaches you to seek out the world (and most likely punch it in the face), something that makes you see yourself as just yourself (and not part of a 'system'), and most of all, something that urges you to be FREE!!

Manipal gave us the choice to be whatever we wanted to be - from a computer geek to a rock star. It allowed us time and space to be alone when we were down, and to be swamped by 20 guys immediately after, urging us to "bottoms up" the last whiskey peg. And believe me, you will not find anything more delicious than a "Deva's Special" anywhere in the world. And it has the only restaurant in the world where ketchup is the main ingredient of everything.. and I mean it.. EVERYTHING!!!!! It is a place where friends will not only die for you, but they will kill for you as well. And there is hardly a campus around the whole of India which is more scenic.

Manipal is purity in its most raw form. It is the whitest of white. Think of it as the first uncut garage version of 'The Dark Side of the Moon', or the first time Watson met Holmes. It is the place of firsts. First time I got thrown out of class, first time I rolled a joint, first time I saw a girl across the library hall and fell hopelessly in love, first time I nervously tried to pick a six string in front of a 1000-strong booing audience, and first time I partied so hard that I don't remember that I actually HAD been to a party the previous night.

It is a magical place filled with Deva's, and Timmy's, and Shack Point, and LC, and KC, and TC, and Juice Center, and Sheela, and Sutta & Chai, and 9th Block, and 10th Block, and 1st Block (smiles everyone!!!!), and Workshop (more smiles everyone!!!), and Malaysian Canteen, and Thaloor, and Downtown, and Movie Dome, and Auto Kaand, and Bun-Omelet, and Sizzling Browny, and Mighty Mighty. I could go on and on and on. But in the end, it is a place I call Home!!!

When she says, "We should just be friends!!"

Seriously... Isn't that the shallowest, ruthless, selfish, gut renching, hideous, and THE MOST INSULTING remark you have ever heard? This translates to, "Honey, you were nice. But I've just upgraded to a better model. But would you be darling and wait on the bench, as a back up? Just in case." It's like been given a consolation prize for being a LOSER.

Well.. The answer is... NO. You can't be "just friends", because she has screwed you and dumped you for a bigger car. Because she has wasted hours and hours of your life making you listen to her, bitching about every god damn thing in this world. And those long walks. AAARRRGGHHHH!!!! What were those for?? She didn't even lose any weight. In fact, her ass just kept getting bigger and bigger and BIGGER!!! And all your money that she so ruthlessly wasted on those countless long island iced teas.

What the F*** do women think when they say this kinda stuff? Of course, as Henry Higgins said, "Thinking is something they never do." But still, have a conscience.

The "just friends" thing also means that YOU get to be the one to whom she bitches about her boyfriend. And YOU get to be the one she pings when she's super bored and her boyfriend won't listen to her brainless chit chat. But wait.. there's a corollary to this deal too. "If by 30 I'm not married and not seeing anyone else, we should get married." Man. It's like saying, "Why don't you warm the bench? Meanwhile, I will try and play the field." Women know very well that if they don't find a rich idiot to suck dry by 30, they never will. And at 30, she stops being a babe and becomes a BEBE. So guys will not hit on her anymore. Yes YOU, lucky sir, get to be the back up drive!!!

Of course, if you end up with a "Friends with benefits" sort of a deal, that's not half bad. But that's about the farthest that one should go. But "just friends"?? Take my advice. Go and watch an SRK film instead. It's less painful.