When she says, "We should just be friends!!"

Seriously... Isn't that the shallowest, ruthless, selfish, gut renching, hideous, and THE MOST INSULTING remark you have ever heard? This translates to, "Honey, you were nice. But I've just upgraded to a better model. But would you be darling and wait on the bench, as a back up? Just in case." It's like been given a consolation prize for being a LOSER.

Well.. The answer is... NO. You can't be "just friends", because she has screwed you and dumped you for a bigger car. Because she has wasted hours and hours of your life making you listen to her, bitching about every god damn thing in this world. And those long walks. AAARRRGGHHHH!!!! What were those for?? She didn't even lose any weight. In fact, her ass just kept getting bigger and bigger and BIGGER!!! And all your money that she so ruthlessly wasted on those countless long island iced teas.

What the F*** do women think when they say this kinda stuff? Of course, as Henry Higgins said, "Thinking is something they never do." But still, have a conscience.

The "just friends" thing also means that YOU get to be the one to whom she bitches about her boyfriend. And YOU get to be the one she pings when she's super bored and her boyfriend won't listen to her brainless chit chat. But wait.. there's a corollary to this deal too. "If by 30 I'm not married and not seeing anyone else, we should get married." Man. It's like saying, "Why don't you warm the bench? Meanwhile, I will try and play the field." Women know very well that if they don't find a rich idiot to suck dry by 30, they never will. And at 30, she stops being a babe and becomes a BEBE. So guys will not hit on her anymore. Yes YOU, lucky sir, get to be the back up drive!!!

Of course, if you end up with a "Friends with benefits" sort of a deal, that's not half bad. But that's about the farthest that one should go. But "just friends"?? Take my advice. Go and watch an SRK film instead. It's less painful.